250 words about home and motivation

Home

The thing I miss most about NYC was that it was home.

That may sound odd, but in 32 years, Oklahoma never felt that way.  When I had the chance to move to NYC, I jumped at the chance. I was in the city I loved, doing the things I loved. The theater, Yankee Stadium, the culture, and the food, oh lord the food.

Then life happened and I lost everything.

I would love to say that I was not to blame for this, but that isn’t true. I made some really bad decisions, and had more than a little bad luck. But maybe the hardest thing that happened was losing my home.

Was my apartment in Astoria the nicest apartment?  No. But damn it, it was mine, and it was the first place in my entire life that felt like home. Losing that sense of belonging is what hurt the most when things went bad.

After that I lost control of my life, and am still struggling to regain it.

Now for the last two years I have fought living in Pittsburgh. Never really giving this city a chance because I told myself I HAD to get back to New York. That was obviously doomed to fail.

Will Pittsburgh ever feel like home?

I don’t know the answer to that. But I know I want that feeling of home again…that feeling of belonging.  And as much as I love NYC, the thought of going back there doesn’t feel right.

At least not right now.

Motivation

So, last night on Fate Points, we had Mark Diaz Truman​  on the show and it is impossible to not to be inspired by him. He shows such a positive attitude and energy and you cannot help but get caught up in it.

As someone that struggles to keep motivated at the best of times, I cannot help but be inspired by the people on G+. So many talented people, doing so many talented things.

What I have to learn to do is translate this feeling into long term motivation.

I am great in small spurts. I always have been. But to really think I can write a novel and make an rpg, I am going to have to have motivation that sustains over time.  Talking to Mark and other people on G+ helps with this. There are so many amazing people on there that want to do nothing more than just help others achieve things.

In this age that can be an astonishing thing.

So, yes. I need to stay motivated, and have that motivation turn into something that resembles discipline (I think I still know what that is). 

Even this 250 words thing I am doing has me writing more than I have in years. This gives me hope as that is the kind of sustainable thing I need to continue.

Will it be easy? Hell no. Nothing worth doing is. But I constantly see people on G+ accomplish things and it makes me want so badly to do so as well.