Yes, maybe an odd topic, but the last several years have been a bit crazy.
I say that because after all the bad things happened with the job, the ex, and losing everything in NYC…I feel like I have been walking in slow motion ever since. A lot of that is my fault, as I allowed this to happen, but due to it; I kind of shut myself off to protect myself. Not feeling anything but anger, sadness, or frustration.
I know I am not the only one that does that.
Other people may get over things quicker. That isn't in my skillset…reluctant to change and all that. I know that sounds silly, but it is easy to get stuck in something and not know how to stop. Before you even realize it, weeks go by, and then it turns into months. The walls go back up very easily sometimes.
Living in that kind of haze is easy, but eventually you want things to be different. To feel something again. But time passes and you start to doubt. Just like anything else, you wonder if there is something wrong with you and if things will never change.
Yet, the nice thing about life is that it can still prove you wrong. It doesn't take into consideration your negativity or your doubt. Life just brings people into your life and you can either fight it (like I usually do), or ride it out. Sometimes these people are special and them being in your life is more important than protecting yourself.
Geek!
I was asked yesterday why I was such a geek.
It made me laugh as it did not feel like it was meant as a compliment. It wasn't really meant as an insult either, but either way it amused me.
But it started when I was 8 years old and got went to the library. At this point I was only into reading so much, but that day I brought home the Hobbit. Which I enjoyed, but it got me to my first obsession…The Lord of the Rings.
That obsession has last my entire life, and it was a gateway to other things that I became fanatical about. Things like: Final Fantasy, Harry Potter, The Dresden Files, The Hunger Games, Star Wars, and tabletop roleplaying.
I believe passion is important.
Life can be crazy. It is good and bad, and awful and amazing. But when things go wrong it is nice to have something to fall back on to help deal with the craziness. For me that is usually reading, a good video game or movie. It is never too late to find a passion, you just have to be open to it.
It doesn't take everything away, but anything that can help us deal with the bad “shit”, is a good thing. Not to mention, the friends that I have been lucky enough to make throughout my life that have some of the same interests.
It also a part of who I am. A part that I embrace and that makes me happy.
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